Beats, Beyonce, & Baseball: A Rays Mixtape For 2024

John Fogerty, Bruce Springsteen, Count Basie, Paul Simon.

What do they all have in common?

They wrote baseball-themed songs.

Now, this article won’t include any of the songs that those geniuses wrote, but we’re going to be talking about the intersections of baseball and music because the regular season for the Rays begins in a little over a week.

But before that happens, we need to do something important here at RBLR; establish theme music for each player in the projected starting 9.

This is a task not to be taken lightly, but it can still have a fun, whimsical approach. Some of these songs have explanations with an unrealistic expectation that could be imposed upon a player, some are just to be funny, and others are more logical and grounded in reality (or as logical and grounded in reality as they can be for a player theme song piece; c’mon, give me some leeway here). 

None of them are meant to be taken as walk-up songs or to be taken very seriously in general, but hey, it’s an exciting topic because baseball season approaches, and I get to share my music tastes (completely unprompted). 

So without further ado, here are the theme songs for each player in the starting lineup (Josh Lowe is included even though he’ll be on the IL to start the year) and an extra pitcher because I wanted to have some fun. 

René Pinto: All Star – Smash Mouth

This will be the cringiest, most basic, gimme song throughout the list, but it’s a bold proclamation about Mr. Pinto: he’s going to be an All-Star this year.

He’s that good, and if he stays healthy he’ll certainly get enough playing time due to his elite framing ability. From there, he’ll be able to mash at the bottom of the lineup to give the Rays a boost from the catching position they haven’t had since Mikey Z’s All-Star season. 

Yandy Diaz: America Has a Problem (Remix) – Beyonce feat. Kendrick Lamar

If you wanted to make it the original, that’s fine too, I just enjoy Kendrick’s little introductory verse; Diaz had one of the best hitting seasons in Rays history last year, winning a batting title and establishing himself as a mainstream superstar instead of the under-the-radar (or “hidden gem,” shout out to the RBLR Bucs co-host Musaab Tariq) productive player he had been before 2023. 

Diaz has always had an elite approach and one of the best hit tools in the game, but last year he added quite a bit of pop, posting career highs in ISO and pretty much every quality of contact statistic you can think of; America does indeed have a problem, and his name is Yandy Diaz. 

Brandon Lowe: Keep Your Head Up – Djo

Brandon Lowe is one of the more divisive players in the Rays organization. Some think he’s one of the best hitting second basemen in the history of the game, some think he should be DFAd, and everything in between. 

His value (as most things do) lies more in the grey area between these 2 extremes. He’s a tremendous power hitter at a typically light-hitting position and provides the Rays with immense value when he’s healthy. Unfortunately, that last caveat is a big one, and one that hasn’t been happening recently. 

You can’t blame a player for injuries, but that’s just how things have played out, he’s missed 150 games over the past couple of seasons. Hopefully that turns around this year and he’s able to avoid too much time on the IL, because if he does, phew boy. 

From a limited (and possibly ignorant) perspective, one of the biggest reasons for B-Lowe being so disliked by some of the Rays fan base isn’t measurable, it’s body language. He seems to sort of slouch and hang his head quite a bit when things aren’t going his way.

That’s not something he should work on if it’s affecting his play or anything, and this could certainly just be one man’s perspective, but for the type of fan that doesn’t like B-Lowe, something as seemingly trivial as seeing a guy seem lacking in confidence might contribute to their opinion of that player. 

So, as Djo (or as some might better know him, Steve from Stranger Things) said, keep your head up B-Lowe. It’ll help regulate Rays Twitter a little better. 

Isaac Paredes: No Report Card – Ab-Soul

First off, loved Ab-Soul’s most recent album, yet another huge W in the Top Dog Entertainment record books, and it was thrilling to see Isaac Paredes have such a phenomenal year, xwOBA be damned.

Paredes might not be able to maintain his elite level of hitting last year, as he was one of the most productive third basemen in baseball, and that’s just hard to do for anyone, especially someone who just turned 25, but his performance last year was truly Grade A (No Report Card).

If he’s able to even approach that level of production again this year, you can’t call his 2024 campaign anything but a success. 

Jose Caballero: Come Together – The Internet

Jose Caballero. Ah, what a fun player. It was a bit surprising to see Seattle willing to part with him, even for a decent corner guy like Luke Raley (we’ll miss ya Nuke), but once they traded for Jorge Polanco it made a bit more sense.

Regardless, it should be super exciting to see Cabby take full advantage of the opportunity to play short every day. He’s one of the fastest players in baseball, and he’s got a solid glove. He was even a 2.2-win player last year only playing in 104 games. 

But there’s talk of him finding some undiscovered pop, and he was already a decent on-base guy, so let’s hope that he allows all of these tools to come together and form an even better player than he was last year (much like The Internet transforms from a fun pop group to a really great band when Steve Lacy is included). 

Randy Arozarena: Mr. Magic (Through the Smoke) – Amy Winehouse

If there’s any phrase to describe Randy Arozarena, it’d be “Mr. Magic.” The Bad Bunny song, “Nadie Sabe,” where he shouts out Arozarena (“I impress myself like Randy Arozarena,” pretty dope) would have been appropriate here, but that would’ve been too easy, and Winehouse needed to get a tune on here, she’s one of my favorite singers ever. 

Arozarena had a bit of a split season last year, getting off to a scorching start in the first half then falling off quite a bit, especially in the power department (which might explain his massive physique in Spring Training).

Regardless, Arozarena can be one of the most thrilling players to watch in the game, so here’s to hoping he can maintain a bit more of that magic throughout the year. 

Jose Siri: Walkin – Denzel Curry

Ok, unrealistic goal time; it would be amazing, otherworldly, etc., for Siri to lower his O-Swing% (or chase rate) to 35%. 

Is this too much to ask of someone who has hovered around 40% for his first 3 years in the big leagues? Maybe, but you know what, he lowered his rate from 46.7% in his rookie year to 39.8% in his second to 39.6% last season. Plus, not to compare him to the reigning NL MVP, but Ronald Acuna, Jr. cut his strikeout rate in half last year. Just saying. Plus, Denzel Curry was able to transform his sound from being a bit weird and out there (still fun) to being more mature and refined in his “Melt My Eyez See Your Future” album released in 2022.

Does this make me sound like those people who want him to hit more ground balls and put the ball in play more? Probably, but Siri was so good last year, and if he can simply replicate that performance, awesome, but it’s fair to want a bit more out of him. 

I ask too much of him, but I’d love to see him refine his approach at the plate. Maybe it’ll lead to more walks, maybe it won’t, but regardless, it’ll hopefully turn him from an elite defender who hits some homers (which is still incredibly valuable, don’t get me wrong) to just an elite center fielder. And that’d be a lot of fun. 

Josh Lowe: Sledgehammer – Peter Gabriel

Honestly I was at a bit of a loss to pick a song for J-Lowe. He’s looking to continue to dominate RHP and keep up his production from last season while hopefully staying healthy. 

But his swing is so… well, unique. It’s a bit like Kyle Tucker’s visually, and it helps that they’re both tall lefty hitters. So it reminded me a bit of Peter Gabriel’s fun throwback song Sledgehammer (I’m not a huge fan of a lot of 80s music, but damn this is a good one). Hoping we get to see quite a bit of that unique swing this season. 

Harold Ramirez – Wherever You Go – Pat Metheny

Harold has been the subject of quite a bit of trade buzz this offseason, with rumors of the Rays shopping him abound, but the Rays couldn’t find any takers for the short-but-stout contact hitting extraordinaire. 

Ramirez is a fascinating hitter and an adventure in the field, so his role as DH is very much preferred, but if the Rays decide to deal him at any point during the season, he’ll be missed. Seems like a really nice guy, and you can never say he’s not playing hard. Much like this Pat Metheny record is a throwback, Ramirez can be viewed as a wonderful call back to the baseball players of old, a guy who has a perhaps less-than-ideal approach at the plate, but plays with his head on fire and makes an impressive amount of contact.

Wherever he goes, he’ll be a fan favorite just like he is here. 

Zack Littell: Find a Way – A Tribe Called Quest

Zachy L. Mr. Littell. The L-Man. Littellerino. Whatever you want to call him, he was nails last year as a valuable member of the starting rotation, and he did this despite a tumultuous beginning to his career where he bounced around a bit, had a disastrous 2020 season where he racked up a 14.4 FIP over 6 games, was DFAd, and somehow found his way on the Rays roster, where now he’s probably one of the most underrated players in baseball.

That’s what makes the Rays Way (like any A Tribe Called Quest song) so beautiful. You want to refine your craft for a few years so you can hopefully cash in big with another team? Come on over.